The Backslide...

For anyone who watches the show, New Girl, you've probably heard the term "backslide" used before.
It's a term used for when you revert back to bad habits/decisions/mistakes you've made in the past and are about to repeat them or already have...
This last week was my backslide: it was my birthday week, turning 25, a little nostalgic and feeling unfulfilled for a brief moment just thinking of my "quarter life crisis" haha that already caused me to be in a little bit of a funk, but cheating on workouts and food didn't make me feel much better about it, but it was easier at the time.

And after this weekend, I faced rejection again. And I'd like to think that it's not because of telling someone about who I used to be and what happened to me in high school, but it's hard not to think that when you tell someone about it that you thought you could trust. Now in left hearing the voice in my head again saying, "Nobody is going to want you because you'll always be broken."
And as much as i don't want to believe it, it's hard not to when that's the only thing you can think ofat changed :(

But it's all been an excuse for me the past two weeks, and I need to stop using it as a crutch...right now i need to focus on myself and stop focusing on what other people may think of me or how they make me feel.
I was doing better before letting this get to me, so I just need to get back to that state of mind again :)

Last UCF home game of the season is this Saturday so I need to focus on that and having fun and forgetting all of the negative :)

Here's to keeping your head up!