"Let your words be anything but empty,
Why don't you tell me the truth...and
Say what you want to say, and let the words fall out;
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave."
I can't explain how much music is a huge part of my life; I love listening to music, making music, working out to music...it's pretty much in my heart and soul, and that's one of the biggest reasons why I chose St. Cecilia when I was confirmed, because she is the patron saint of music.
Music can be incredibly powerful...it can bring back vivid memories, both good and bad, with just a few instrumental notes. Recently, I had a run-in with a song that brings back one of the worst memories of my life; a song that I avoided at all costs for fear that listening to it would cause me to have a mental and emotional break-down as it has done to me so many times before. The last time I heard this song I wasn't alone...I was at the Andy Grammer concert with so many people around, and within the first three notes of the song I could already feel myself starting to have a panic attack. Luckily, I was with an amazing guy that knows my whole story, and he helped me keep myself together while the song was playing. We ended up talking and laughing throughout the whole song, and now I have that memory to hold on to. I heard the song again a few days later, and for the first time I smiled when I heard it. I smiled thinking about being with Andy at the concert instead of thinking about the previous memory that song reminded me of, and that was HUGE for me.
There have been a lot of things in my life that I've had to put on a brave face for, a there are only a few people out there who know my whole story. It's not something that everybody needs to know, but it happened and it will always be a part of my history.
I am who I am today because of the people in my life, both good and bad, over the years of trying to figure out my own life and the journey I'm supposed to be taking.
The reason I'm going being so personal about this post is because of Sara Bareilles' new single, "Brave." This is another amazing song from one of my all-time favorite artists, and although it was written for someone who was scared to come-out, I think a lot of people have found it as an anthem for their own personal struggles because I know that I have.
I think once you find your own Brave, then you begin to find meaning in the reasons for your struggles and start to see faith and hope take over when you realize how much stronger you are becoming. And maybe that's why you challenge yourself to do things you never thought possible, things that people told you you'd never be able to do, things that you have never dreamed of doing before.
It's all a part of your journey and although there may be times where you feel that you have hit the lowest of the low and you've been hit so hard that you might never get back up, THOSE are the times that you are able to see how truly strong you can be.
"You don't know inner strength, until strength is the only choice you have."
Every day I am finding myself getting stronger, physically and emotionally, and it's amazing to think of the person I was last year, 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 7 years ago...looking back makes me appreciate how far I have come and how much I have grown as a person.
And this year will be my greatest year yet, because it's not even halfway over with and I'm already convinced that this is one of the best years of my life. So here's to 2013, to music, to Sara Bareilles, and to being Brave.
