Your lips are movin'

It's been such a rollercoaster of emotions this year; from REALLY good, to pretty bad...but overall, 2014 has been my year.

The year my dream came true and I get the chance to work with killer whales.

The year I moved back to my favorite city, Orlando.

The year I got to go to EVERY single home game for UCF football.

The year I realized that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be.

The year I pushed myself and struggled through, only to find that I was my biggest obstacle.

The year I proved them all wrong.

The year I became truly happy with myself and my life; all I need is a roof over my head, a family who supports me, a dog that loves me unconditionally, and a job that I love.

The year I decided to overcome the mental blocks that have held me back for so long.

The year I understood that setbacks are temporary, and as long as you have the determination to overcome them, you WILL. Just be patient and strong.

The year I discovered more about myself than I have since college.


This year was a blessing, one that I have taken for granted for quite some time.
Now that I've come this far, it's time to branch out and not stay so focused on JUST my career...of course I'll keep working to excel, but I need to remember that there's a lot more that I'm missing out on my working myself too hard.
I need to remember to enjoy life outside of work, life outside of home...to get out there and take advantage of all the amazing places and experiences offered here. Get more involved in the community; and hopefully I'll have a place of my own; a home :)

With the holidays getting near, I'm reminded to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life :) It's my favorite time of year, with the joyous music, the beautiful decorations throughout the parks, the holiday spirit emanating through everyone's smiles :)
And with the end of the year approaching, I always love reflecting on how far I've come, what I've done, who I've met, places I've been...and getting ready for the brand new year ahead! A fresh start, a time to renew resolutions and commend yourself for the ones you finished last year...a clean slate :)

Today was a new day for me, and I made the most of it with making better choices and positive thoughts. Here's to an even better tomorrow <3

The Backslide...

For anyone who watches the show, New Girl, you've probably heard the term "backslide" used before.
It's a term used for when you revert back to bad habits/decisions/mistakes you've made in the past and are about to repeat them or already have...
This last week was my backslide: it was my birthday week, turning 25, a little nostalgic and feeling unfulfilled for a brief moment just thinking of my "quarter life crisis" haha that already caused me to be in a little bit of a funk, but cheating on workouts and food didn't make me feel much better about it, but it was easier at the time.

And after this weekend, I faced rejection again. And I'd like to think that it's not because of telling someone about who I used to be and what happened to me in high school, but it's hard not to think that when you tell someone about it that you thought you could trust. Now in left hearing the voice in my head again saying, "Nobody is going to want you because you'll always be broken."
And as much as i don't want to believe it, it's hard not to when that's the only thing you can think ofat changed :(

But it's all been an excuse for me the past two weeks, and I need to stop using it as a crutch...right now i need to focus on myself and stop focusing on what other people may think of me or how they make me feel.
I was doing better before letting this get to me, so I just need to get back to that state of mind again :)

Last UCF home game of the season is this Saturday so I need to focus on that and having fun and forgetting all of the negative :)

Here's to keeping your head up!