Good Riddance 2015...HELLO 2016!!!

Wow...so looking back I realized that I didn't write any posts for this blog AT ALL last year! And it's probably because I was in somewhat of a mild depression through most of the year...I was overworking myself, I put my health on the back burner and ended up with some pretty funky diseases throughout the year, I just felt very STUCK.

Honestly, I wasn't in the greatest place (emotionally, mentally, or physically)...but I worked through it in the best ways that I could and still managed to stay strong even through some of the worst times of the year.

But 2016 is very promising :) It's already been quite the whirlwind! I started a graduate certificate program at UCF, moved to Sea Lion & Otter stadium, and went to one of my best friend's weddings...all within the span of 3 weeks into the year! And I know things are only going to get better from here on out and I'm so excited to see what the rest of this year will hold!

For accountability's sake, I wanted to post my New Years Resolutions since I've done that in the past and it has helped me stay on track with them :)

FITNESS:
-PR for one of the Jax Tri Sprints
-Start training for an Olympic race for 2017
-Lose those last few pounds to get back down to the 135 lb range/size 5 pant! Just keep up with 21 Day Fix/21 Day Fix Extreme plans
-Yoga session at least once/week
-Be able to touch toes by May, lay palms flat on the ground by December!

FINANCES:
-Pay off credit card debts (USAA, Best Buy, etc.)
-Keep emergency fund at $1000 for the entire year

PERSONAL:
-Train Buddy 6 new behaviors this year/do an agility class with him/Pet Partners volunteering!
-Read one new book every month!
-Get Senior trainer promotion this year!

So there you have it...2016 goals! I'm rejoining Team Vortex this year and will (hopefully!) be able to make the practices to start triathlon training again and really kick it in gear!

That's all for now, but I'll be sure to update this more often! I'm planning on posting here for accountability to follow the Beachbody programs, and I'm also going to start sharing some of my favorite recipes/workouts/etc! :)

Thanks for reading!

Getting Resolution Ready!

So instead of waiting for the new year, I figured the month of December was a good time to start easing into transition for my planned New Year's Resolutions :)

A few things are helping me with that! As far as fitness is concerned, my mom bought me an UP band which is SO COOL!!! It was definitely on my Christmas list and she got it for me as an early present :)

Next, I have FINALLY found a place to play indoor volleyball at!!! The Downtown YMCA is SO nice and they have open gym play on Sun/Mon/Tues/Thurs, so I should be able to go AT LEAST one day a week...but I'll probably try for two ;)

At the start of the new year, I have also decided to drop down my work hours; since I've been averaging between 48-56 hours per week, I haven't made enough time for myself. So I am going to have a regular 40-ish hours per week...which means I will have two FULL days off every week! That way I can dedicate more time to taking care of myself and enjoying myself instead of having to do all of my chores on my only day off every week, because that is no fun :(

Finally, I have decided to get more involved in my faith again. I have asked for Sundays off from both of my jobs, so that I can have time to go to church. I went today for the first time in many many months, and it really does make me feel better about life :) It's inspirational and hopeful, especially around this time of year with the holidays approaching and Christmas almost here! Being in church reminds me of middle school and high school, when times were much simpler than they are now, when I was involved with youth group and church retreats and dedicated in my faith. I miss the community feeling of church too :) It's nice to meet people outside of work and get to meet people that live in your area; I recognized a few people from the YMCA while I was there today!

So starting this new journey to the "best version of myself" as was stated during mass today; that really stuck with me and I have a good feeling about ending this year on a good note, and starting 2015 with high hopes!!! :)

Your lips are movin'

It's been such a rollercoaster of emotions this year; from REALLY good, to pretty bad...but overall, 2014 has been my year.

The year my dream came true and I get the chance to work with killer whales.

The year I moved back to my favorite city, Orlando.

The year I got to go to EVERY single home game for UCF football.

The year I realized that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be.

The year I pushed myself and struggled through, only to find that I was my biggest obstacle.

The year I proved them all wrong.

The year I became truly happy with myself and my life; all I need is a roof over my head, a family who supports me, a dog that loves me unconditionally, and a job that I love.

The year I decided to overcome the mental blocks that have held me back for so long.

The year I understood that setbacks are temporary, and as long as you have the determination to overcome them, you WILL. Just be patient and strong.

The year I discovered more about myself than I have since college.


This year was a blessing, one that I have taken for granted for quite some time.
Now that I've come this far, it's time to branch out and not stay so focused on JUST my career...of course I'll keep working to excel, but I need to remember that there's a lot more that I'm missing out on my working myself too hard.
I need to remember to enjoy life outside of work, life outside of home...to get out there and take advantage of all the amazing places and experiences offered here. Get more involved in the community; and hopefully I'll have a place of my own; a home :)

With the holidays getting near, I'm reminded to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life :) It's my favorite time of year, with the joyous music, the beautiful decorations throughout the parks, the holiday spirit emanating through everyone's smiles :)
And with the end of the year approaching, I always love reflecting on how far I've come, what I've done, who I've met, places I've been...and getting ready for the brand new year ahead! A fresh start, a time to renew resolutions and commend yourself for the ones you finished last year...a clean slate :)

Today was a new day for me, and I made the most of it with making better choices and positive thoughts. Here's to an even better tomorrow <3

The Backslide...

For anyone who watches the show, New Girl, you've probably heard the term "backslide" used before.
It's a term used for when you revert back to bad habits/decisions/mistakes you've made in the past and are about to repeat them or already have...
This last week was my backslide: it was my birthday week, turning 25, a little nostalgic and feeling unfulfilled for a brief moment just thinking of my "quarter life crisis" haha that already caused me to be in a little bit of a funk, but cheating on workouts and food didn't make me feel much better about it, but it was easier at the time.

And after this weekend, I faced rejection again. And I'd like to think that it's not because of telling someone about who I used to be and what happened to me in high school, but it's hard not to think that when you tell someone about it that you thought you could trust. Now in left hearing the voice in my head again saying, "Nobody is going to want you because you'll always be broken."
And as much as i don't want to believe it, it's hard not to when that's the only thing you can think ofat changed :(

But it's all been an excuse for me the past two weeks, and I need to stop using it as a crutch...right now i need to focus on myself and stop focusing on what other people may think of me or how they make me feel.
I was doing better before letting this get to me, so I just need to get back to that state of mind again :)

Last UCF home game of the season is this Saturday so I need to focus on that and having fun and forgetting all of the negative :)

Here's to keeping your head up!

Things are Looking Up :)

Since the last couple posts, things have gotten a heck of a lot better! :)

Sometimes the universe delivers a big slap in the face to you and smacks you out of your funk...and that's just what I needed! It was the universe telling me that I'm NOT the person that I was in high school anymore, and I definitely needed that reminder :)

As far as physical well-being goes, I ended up doing a lot better in the 5-miler than I thought I would so I was REALLY excited about that! And I've still been eating a lot better too; could be hitting the gym more that I have been but I've also been working a lot more than I've wanted to lol

Anyway, I still love my jobs, and I got my first "big-girl job" promotion! From Associate Trainer to Trainer at SeaWorld :) I was so excited! Very unexpected, but a very pleasant surprise :)

My next big venture is to try and purchase my first home! I've been trying to save up, pay off my credit cards, look for real estate...I know I'm here in Orlando to stay, so I would love to finally have a place of my own and stop throwing money away on rent for apartments.


So here's my list of things I'm working towards:
-Losing 12 pounds (I've kept 3 off for good so far!)
-Building up my savings again to help with a down payment
-Working towards my first 10K race
-Remembering to take time for myself to unwind and refresh :)

 

Breakfast this morning: Special K Red Berry Waffles with Vanilla Yogurt and Raspberries, and an ice cold glass of milk!

Pinterest Win Day!

Today was my meal-prep day, and it was a great success! :)

Here are some of the recipes I tackled and the links to the pages I found them on:

I've made these home-made Clif bars before...but NEVER have they turned out so beautifully!!! :)

http://powerhungry.com/2008/06/homemade-cliff-bars-no-bake/


This was my first time trying this banana bread; can't wait to eat some this week! It smelled delicious as it was baking!!! :)

http://www.yammiesglutenfreedom.com/2013/02/secretly-healthy-banana-bread-with.html


I made some skinny pasta bake for later this week! It is eagerly awaiting me in the freezer ;)

http://www.taylormadebytaylorbee.com/2013/02/light-pasta-bake-with-chicken-sausage.html?m=1


And finally, some healthy fruit cobbler! I used frozen, mixed fruit, white cake mix, and sprite and it turned out SOOOOO yummy!!! :)

http://livingachangedlife.blogspot.com/2011/04/recipe-review-berry-cobbler.html

 

Also, for my sweet tooth cravings I melted some chocolate chips and put them into an ice cube tray and put a strawberry in each one!

I also got some buffalo chicken cooked up, some chipotle chicken, bacon, ground beef, and burgers for quick meals later this week. Also some pasta salad ready to go and BOOM!

Healthy meals ready to go for a healthy week ahead :)

Shake it out

Early morning run? Check!

Awesome breakfast?? Check!

Rewarding mysf my catching up on the new episode of Once Upon a Time...? CHECK!!! :)

Great day today...feeling pretty good :)

Feeling more like Missy than Melyssa...

Well there's been a lot happening...not in the good way, but that's okay.

It's been a bit of a struggle over the past few weeks. There's been a lot going in that has made me feel like the high-school version of myself...and that's not a good thing; in fact it's actually scary to me now.

I didn't like who I was in high school and looking back I still don't like who I was back then. Not so much in a physical sense, of course I had normal insecurities that pubescent girls experience in their adolescent years...but there was so much more than that. So much negativity filled my life back then, but I had my studies to focus on and help me forget about the rest of the world spinning around me; I had good grades to maintain and something to work for and keep my mind busy outside of classes. But recently, falling into that negativity and not having an outlet, like schoolwork, to help me cope has led me into a dark descent where I've given up; and that's only happened one other time in my life, when I was at the lowest of lows. It's scary to think I'm going down that same path again where I stop fighting for myself and give in to the negative forces that kept me held down for so long.

Like I said...there's been a lot happening recently that has made me feel more like high-school "Missy" rather than confident college "Melyssa" and I don't like where it's going and how it's making me feel. Numerous reminders of high school have brought flashbacks and memories that I have tried to stow away and forget about...but it has been an overwhelming flood of memories that have been drowning out my attempts at positivity. 

There have been split seconds where I've heard that voice in my head saying "You're not good enough" and "Who would want someone as broken as you are" and as hard as I've tried to shake those thoughts from my head, they are lingering in the back of my mind...and when I start to feel like they're reaffirmed by not getting the full time position I applied for, or getting stood up by a date for a second time, it makes me think that maybe he was right when he told me those things back in high school...it brings back all of the insecurities and self-doubt and flashbacks and it has been such a struggle to shake all of those thoughts out of my head. This has been one of the biggest setbacks I've had in quite some time, not only mental but physical as well, and I'm at the point where I've realized that I just gave up.

I haven't been trying to make myself happy, because I've just felt an overwhelming amount of self-hatred and defeat...even with how much I've done to prove the naysayers wrong, like working at SeaWorld and passing the Shamu swim test, I haven't been able to get out of this rut. I haven't truly been trying because of the self-loathing I've been feeling. I haven't wanted to try to change the way I was feeling because I was complacent with giving up on myself.

And now enough is enough. I've had to embrace what I can about my high school memories, allow myself be called "Missy" again so I don't just associate it with high school, stop trying to change people who I know won't change and accept that fact, and reevaluate how I've been living my life and where I'm going and what I'm doing to myself right now. 

This pity party has been cancelled because for so long I've been strong, I've been able to repress feelings and memories of being scared and feeling unworthy of things I deserve. I've needed to remind myself that I wasn't meant to get the full-time position this time around; I deserve so much better than settling; I need to stop trying to be somebody I'm not just so I can try to prove myself wrong; and even though I may be broken beyond repair, there's someone out there who will understand that and will hopefully be able to help me heal someday.

The past is not something that can be erased. It's part of who you are, and as much as I've tried to forget who I was in high school, by forgetting that part of me I didn't even recognize when I became that same person again after slowly slipping away from who I had become.

And I liked who I had become in college; I still felt intelligent, I grew confidence by challenging myself and succeeding in those challenges; and when I didn't succeed, I learned from those failures to help me grow. 

Enough is enough and I'm going to break free from this emptiness I've been feeling. I'm going to channel all of my emotional pain into physical discomfort by going to take out my anger/frustrations/sadness at the gym. "Destroy what destroys you." It's a quote I found a while back during a bit of a pitfall, but I need to follow it now more than ever. No more. No more wallowing, no more moping, no more destructive/unhealthy habits like eating my feelings and trying to drown my sorrows in a big bowl of ice cream!!!

By channeling my energy into a constructive outlet (like an intense workout or cranking out some pages of my paper!) I will relearn to cope with these hardships when they present themselves, and I will be ready to tackle any new challenges that present themselves.

For now, focusing on improving my physical state will help me better my mental state as well. 

I made a "Plan of Attack" for October to help me focus my energy and time into something productive!

It's time for a change, and it starts now! I remember now who I was, and who I want to be instead :)

In the wise words of Andy Grammer: "When you're questioning your worth, in the way that way all do...and your version of amnesia starts to seep on through; and you know that you're great, but you can't remember why...I will be there by your side, I will remind you" <3 

Work it out!

This week has been AWESOME! 

I've been keeping up with my race training plan for the U Can Finish 5-miler in October and I also have a 5k coming up on Sept 20th too so I want to have a good race time for that one too! :)

I also did a spin class on Wednesday too! I've been snacking a little more than I'd like to, but it's been much healthier snacks that in the past! :)

I took a page from Aubrey's book and got some rice cakes...now I'm addicted to topping them with Justin's brand hazelnut butter (WAY less suar then Nutella AND it has sustainably sourced palm oil!)

Tomorrow is an easy workout day and then Saturday is my long run! 

Gotta keep the momentum up, it's making me feel so much better about myself already! :) Getting back to the "me" I was last year!!!

You don't have to try so hard <3

Off to a great start this week! Ended my Saturday eating at Panera with mom :) I splurged a bit because I haven't eaten out in a while and Panera is my absolute FAVORITE!!! :)

Sunday night I made this lovely meal for myself after a looooong day of work: a ricotta, Canadian bacon, and spinach flatbread with a glass of Pinot Grigio :)

After dinner I tried out the sewing machine my mom gave me! I was able to fix my favorite bra because the strap broke, and I was so proud of myself for that! I think I found a new hobby :)

Turning one of my school t-shirts into a halter top! Work in progress, but it's almost finished :)

This morning I went on a short run and did some strength before work today!

Tomorrow's plan is a longer run with a more intense strength session :) that means an earlier morning!

Here's to a wonderful week ahead! :)

Summer is ALMOST over...FINALLY!!!

Work Hard, Play Hard!

What an awesome day off! Woke up to this for my weekly weigh-in:

Down 3 pounds from last week!

Then I went on a long, VERY hot 5 mile run! Followed by some strength exercises once I got back to the gym :)

After getting home I had a major Pinterest win: HOMEMADE CLIF BARS!!!

I did my dishes, vacuumed, all the things I slack in during the week haha and then Buddy and I headed to Happy Paws for dock jumping!!!

He had SOOO much fun! :-D

Then I ended the day at my favorite place with my favorite person (AKA: mom!) so we could catch up and talk about future business endeavors!!! :)

Went a little over my calorie goal for the day..but I deserved a little splurge for my day off! :)

Here's to making this next week as good as last week!

Also...ONE WEEK UNTIL KICKOFF!!! Then I can see this stud back on the field! ;)

Shake it off!

Well this has been a great week for me :)

I'm feeling amazing since recovering from last week, I've been eating a lot better than I have the last few months, I took baby steps to getting back into a workout routine...and work was great!!!

No complaints from this week and I'm proud of my accomplishments :)

I think I felt better about this week because a lot of the negativity was absent, from myself, from coworkers, from friends and family...I need to remember that even when negativity looms, always focus on the positive because it will overcome all other things.

I haven't been making huge lifestyle changes or noticing drastic changes in my body, but my attitude was definitely improved this week and I felt great about myself :) Feeling comfortable with myself is something I've been missing the past few months, and having a little bit of it shining through again gives me hope and encourages me to stay on track :)

Tonight I made it to the Y and hopped on the spin bike and managed to squeeze in 15 minutes of strength before the gym closed. Tomorrow I will be going to the Running club in the morning, and then Buddy and I get to have some fun at a Dock Diving seminar where he's going to get to play fetch AND go swimming at the same time! I think he's going to love it ;)

Anyway, let my mini-weekend begin! :)

Here are my stats from my workout!

The app I use is called Fitocracy in case anyone is interested in checking it out! :)

Aw, nah, Honey I'm Good!

Good foods today!

AND I went on a run for the first time in a while! It was super hot out but it felt SO good! I had some new music in my playlist, and I had my new running shoes to break in!

I was pressed for time because of the school crowds though and I needed to make it to work on time...I need to start getting to the gym before all the traffic begins! More motivation to get my butt up early out of bed!!! ;)

Anyway, had a good day of work, added 2.4 miles to my monthly run total, and ate some really good meals today!

This morning was a waffle topped with Canadian bacon, Swiss cheese, an egg, and avocado :)

Dinner consisted of quinoa with teriyaki veggies and imitation crab :) in my UCF cup is strawberry infused water!

Let's see how tomorrow goes! :)

Almost had it...!

Well, I had my alarm set for 0630, had gotten almost 8 hours of sleep last night, could have gotten out of bed to go for a run...and I DIDNT! :( I chose those extra few minutes of sleep...but that's not happening tomorrow! I'm so mad at myself for doing that now! I'm getting behind on my Nike challenge...now I have to run Thursday and Saturday to make up for it!

I've got a spin class to get to at 0700, then I plan on doing about 20 min of strength after that!

I really need to go in the morning before work, because by the time I get home in completely exhausted from being out in the sun all day running around :(

On the bright side, I ate really well today! Had a quick bowl of cereal this morning, then my lunch pack and dinner featured below :)

PB, Jelly, and Banana wrap, celery and cheese, and edamame!

Dinner was whole wheat pasta with crab meat and ricotta cheese with marinara sauce! Delicious :)

Treated myself to some ice cream after work today since it was such a long day though! 

But time to make that first step tomorrow and et back into my workout regimen! No more excuses and I'm fully recovers from my sicknesses...so time to get to it! :)

All About That Bass!

So far so good for this week! Still recovering from being sick, so I didn't push a workout today...but im feeling good about tomorrow!

Made some healthy eating choices today :) loved my dinner from tonight: teriyaki veggies with chicken flavored quinoa!

Deeelicious! :)

Anyway, starting my Nike+ challenge tomorrow!!!

"Marathon in a month"...30 days to wrack up 26.2 miles...let's do it!

In Sickness and in Health...

Well, this last week was pretty rough because I had a fever on Monday and Tuesday, then caught a tinge of food poisoning yesterday :-/ kind of out a damper on working out for the week! 

I'm feeling better today though, so hopefully I'll be fully recovered tomorrow and can get back into the swing of things! :)

This has been a pretty good week for me though, as far as feeling good about myself. I was eating much better than I have been over the past few weeks, I took some time to have fun by going to UCF FanFest and the Little Black Dress pub crawl.

I started a Coaching program and Challenge on my Nike+ app too! I'll be training for a 5-mile race at UCF called the U Can Finish :) It's great motivation for me and a great start towards training to race in a 10K!

So instead of sharing my food pictures from this week, I'm going to share these instead:

Weekly weigh-in...I've lost 3.5 lbs so far :)

UCF FanFest! I got to meet JJ Worton :) Wide receiver for the Knights!

Little Black Dress Pub Crawl in downtown Orlando! :)

So a new week is beginning, and hopefully I'll be feeling 100% to get back to working out and training for some races! :)

Little victories..

Well, I didn't make it to the gym today, but I ate really well and took care of myself! :)

Doing a quick post today because I've gotta get some sleep!!!

Breakfast: quinoa, egg, spinach, mushroom, cheese scramble

Lunch: pasta salad with rotini pasta, olives, tomatoes, feta cheese, and Greek dressing

Snacks: two clementines and a mozzarella stick, "ants on a log" (peanut butter and celery with raisins on top), white cheddar Cheetos puffs

Dinner: one pot BBQ chicken pasta! 

Dessert: cookie butter and pretzels!

Magazines or Novels!

Well the day has finally come! Andy Grammer's new album, Magazines or Novels, will be released tomorrow and I'm so stoked!!! :) His music is so motivating and catchy and moving...I can't wait for all of these new songs! I've been listening to the album all week on Pandora Premieres!

Anyway, last week I did pretty well keeping up with my goals...but this week is off to a rough start :(
There's always time to turn it around and I think tomorrow will be the perfect day for that!
For starters, I did some meal prepping on Saturday morning that turned out to be fantastic! Definitely enjoying my meals and all of the Pinterest ideas I had the chance to try :) Some turned out perfectly, some turn out...well, they turned out all right I suppose haha but next time I'll have to try some different ideas too!

So I am going to be keeping up on my fitness journey with a group started by one of my childhood best friends who has been such an inspiration to me (Thanks Aubrey)! We've both had our ups and downs on our weight loss journey, and right now we're both going to whip each other back in shape!!! Starting with holding ourselves accountable on the Facebook group Aubrey created almost two years ago :)
Then, I'll be tracking food on MyFitnessPal; it's kinda hard keeping up with it sometimes when you end up doing all of your own meal prep, I've noticed it gets annoying entering all of the items separately, so I'm going to do my best to make some "meals/recipes" for things I commonly make so I don't have to keep inputting every single item every time.
Next, the group exercise classes at the Y...gotta focus more on strength AND cardio instead of one or the other. The plan for this week:
Tuesday: Run @ 0630 (25 min) and Strength-Back, Arms (35 min)
Wednesday: Cardio Cycle @ 0700 (50 min) and Strength-Shoulders, Core (25 min)
Thursday:Yoga @ 0600 (50 min)
Friday: Rest day (Jags vs. Bucs game in Jax!)
Saturday: Jax Tri #3 (GOAL: Under 1:30:00)

Finally, I've been Pinteresting away again for good recipes...and I made some strawberry/lime infused water that has been delicious! Also, put some chocolate syrup in an ice cube tray with strawberries, raspberries, and bananas in it for an easy and healthy way to satisfy my sweet tooth ;)

So I'll take these little victories, and focus on the positive instead of the negative since I haven't been the greatest with that lately...I've been so concerned with not feeling happy with the way that I look, but haven't done anything to try and change it. But I keep SAYING that I'm going to instead of actually DOING something about it...so all that changes now :)

Here's to reminding myself what I looked like when I felt comfortable and confident with my body, and something to get my ass in gear to get feeling that way again ASAP!!!

PS: I also decided to join a Book Club :) I've been pretty good at keeping up with my new year's resolution to read 12 new books this year, but I'm running out of ideas! So I figured a book club is a great way to meet new people while having new books to entertain me too.
Here's the list of what I've read so far this year:
1-Sergeant Rex
2-The Choice
3-The Best of Me
4-A Bend in the Road

I'm only four novels behind for reading one per month of the year, and I have a few on my "to-read" list before I see the movie versions.

While everyone is getting ready for bikini season...

I'M GETTING READY FOR FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

Since getting "fit" by the end of summer is pretty unrealistic, I'm deciding to make it a goal to start feeling back to my old self in time for football season ;)
I want to make sure I look and feel my best during tailgating or watch parties! Since those will be the extent of my social outings, I figured I might as well take advantage of that as motivation to lose the weight I've gained since I moved back.

As far as this week goes, I've done pretty well! I made it to a Cardio Strength class yesterday morning, I took a rest day today (and splurged with cookies and Twistee Treat...so that wasn't great...), and tomorrow I'm planning on going on a short run and then doing spin class before going into work at Typhoon...Thursday my plan is Cardio Cycle at 0930 and Yoga at 1030 before going in to work at SeaWorld, and then Friday I want to do Cardio Strength at 1730; Saturday I'm planning for Run Club or Master's Swim at 0700 or Kickboxing at 0930...so we'll see if I can stick with it this week!

Looking forward to attending many UCF home games, and a few Jags games too!!! :)

I DID IT!

I did it! I made my goal time for Jax Tri #2!!! Under 1:35?? Easy! ;) Made that a new PR!

Here are my split times from the race:
Swim-9:47.1
T1-2:34.4
Bike-52:37.0
T2-0:56.2
Run-24:57.6
Overall-1:31:52.3

Now, my goal for the final race in this series is under 1:30! I want to set a new PR, and challenge myself for this last triathlon :)

BIG shout out to my mom for always being my biggest fan! It's because of her support that I am always so happy to do events like these and know that she's there waiting for me at the finish line :) Love you mama!!!