It's just one day out of the year, a date on the calendar...but when what happened on that day changed you forever, it's hard to just let it slide by. It gets easier every year, but some days are harder than others to deal with it.
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
It's been hard to realize that what had happened then, made me the person that I am today. Cautious. Determined. Shamed, maybe. But stronger; much stronger than I was 5 years ago.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have never lost control of my life. I wouldn't have let it get to that point, where I was scared. Too scared to stand up for myself. Not doing so taught me a valuable lesson though; don't let your judgement be clouded or gut instincts overlooked. LISTEN to friends and family when they bring up concerns.
Don't be a statistic; fight for yourself and your self respect. Don't EVER think because someone tells you that you can't do something that they're right about it. PROVE THEM WRONG.
Don't do it for approval, don't do it just to prove them wrong...do it because you want to. The rest is just a bonus that comes with achieving what they said you would never be able to.
Being able to go back in time, I don't think I would change what happened. Although it's difficult to deal with at times, I'm stronger for it. I'm more appreciative for the things in life that I have accomplished; more appreciative of the people that I have met and those who have helped me along the way.
The path to healing is not always an easy one, but it's one that shows you who cares about you most.
You can't change the past so there's no use dwelling on it; it's the future that matters the most right now. The things to come are what are worth working towards and using your strength to deal with.
There's no more pain, no more fear, no more weight to carry.
There's no more control that you have anymore.
And if somehow "you" are reading this right now, just know that what you did doesn't matter anymore. You don't matter anymore and you never will. You're just a bitter memory...and forgiveness?
That was the hardest part. "When you've forgiven but you can't forget..." What you did will always be wrong, but to forgive you for it takes away the last bit that you were trying to control over me.
And now you don't have that anymore.
I'll always remember what happened, but it doesn't define me and I'm not broken because of it.
I'm stronger for it.
